Step-maid wistfully wishing she were step-mom instead.

Step-mom or Step-MAID? How to Stop Feeling “Locked Out, Looking In”

I recently received an email from a concerned stepmom expressing frustrations with her living situation and asking how to address them. The letter reflected challenges I’ve heard from many stepmoms over the years, in one form or another.

Her first concern was that she felt like an outsider, or like hired help, rather than feeling like part of a cohesive family unit. This is actually two separate problems, and here’s the crux of it:

You need to feel like a wife, before you’ll start feeling like a mother.

Ghosts of Marriage Past

3 Ghosts of Marriage Past Sure to Plague Your Holidays

Millions of people all over the world are looking forward to the most festive time of the year. Remarried couples with children, on the other hand, hold their breath, hoping that this year the holidays will pass with minimal turbulence.

Unresolved grief, hostile exes, and your children’s fantasies collaborate to make this one of the most difficult times of the year for you, and here’s how.

Fathers in Stepfamilies: 3 Do’s and Don’ts

Remarried fathers often struggle with balancing their relationships with their biological children and those with their step children. Fathers feel guilty for spending more time with their step children than with their biological children due to custody arrangements. Biological children get jealous of their stepsiblings for that very reason. Identifying the guilt and working through it is very helpful for both fathers and children.

Here are some dos and don’ts to help you strengthen your relationship with the children.

Inconsistent Parenting in Remarriage

Many men find themselves spending much more time with their stepchildren than with their biological children, simply because of their custody agreements. Fathers see their biological children’s stay with them as visits, rather than “living with them,” so they treat them like VIP guests and set fewer limits and looser behavioral expectations.

These double standards drive a wedge between the couple, confuse the children, and foster resentment all around. Here’s how to handle them.

Tips for Applying Your New Year’s Resolutions

Another year went by. You may feel the anguish of yet more missed opportunities to last year’s resolutions for a more peaceful and fun stepfamily experience. If you do, you are not alone. Many step-families share your pain. You can make a difference in this coming year. Implement these 6 easy tips and you’ll experience a difference in how you connect with your step-family.

Tips for Successfully Transitioning Into the New School Year

Children of divorced parents who go back and forth between two households experience a sense of loss and anxiety each time they transition between the homes. The biological and stepparents may experience similar feelings. As the summer winds down and you and your family are getting ready for the new school year these feelings may […]

Tips for Meaningful Holidays

The Holidays present an unparalleled opportunity for biological and step families alike to strengthen, deepen, and solidify connections between family members. It is the time of year that you may choose to create the space in which you may have the opportunity to work on mending and improving relationships with different family members. While some […]