Step-maid wistfully wishing she were step-mom instead.

Step-mom or Step-MAID? How to Stop Feeling “Locked Out, Looking In”

I recently received an email from a concerned stepmom expressing frustrations with her living situation and asking how to address them. The letter reflected challenges I’ve heard from many stepmoms over the years, in one form or another.

Her first concern was that she felt like an outsider, or like hired help, rather than feeling like part of a cohesive family unit. This is actually two separate problems, and here’s the crux of it:

You need to feel like a wife, before you’ll start feeling like a mother.

Fathers in Stepfamilies: 3 Do’s and Don’ts

Remarried fathers often struggle with balancing their relationships with their biological children and those with their step children. Fathers feel guilty for spending more time with their step children than with their biological children due to custody arrangements. Biological children get jealous of their stepsiblings for that very reason. Identifying the guilt and working through it is very helpful for both fathers and children.

Here are some dos and don’ts to help you strengthen your relationship with the children.